Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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