Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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