..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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