Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
