i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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