She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize