you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
