; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
one two three fourrrrnication!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
