People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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