She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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