my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
