My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
