if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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