the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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