Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
