1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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