woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
