she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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