i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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