There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
