Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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