At least make sure they are 18
Why
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
