ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
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god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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