How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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