Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
