yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
