you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
