I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
