Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
