First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish you could order shots online.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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