this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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