I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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