yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
