i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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