hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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