It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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