Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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