what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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