i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
