My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
