And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
