i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
