Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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