they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
