We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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