I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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