her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
