I feel great
I just peed on a car
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
