So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
