I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
