he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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