My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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