just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
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knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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