in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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