Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
