may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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