Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
