i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize