I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
