They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
