that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize