He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
