I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
