oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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