rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize