low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
