we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
