So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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